Sorry to say this but...
I told myself and convinced myself to forget..
But....
I failed once again.
Over and over again you can say.
I don't know whether it has turned into a disease or just a mere side effect from what had happened.
Recently,
I succeeded in forgetting about her for almost the whole day.
A good sign considered, right?
But,
When I sleep that night, I received random dreams, all about her.
Inside the dreams, she was very nice towards me and treated me like before.
Do things like before.
I was very happy and content.
I really thought she came back to me.
But, I later knew it was only dreams when I woke up.
Great!!!
It's as if my mind doesn't want me to let go.
Doesn't want me to forget.
That's why the dreams came.
Reinforcing the memories in my mind.
I am currently receiving constant dreams of how nice she is treating me everytime I sleep, even nap.
Indirectly making me even harder to forget.
Don't blame me because I can't control my own dreams.
As i said, they are random.
So, I tried my best.
Yet
I can feel that my situation has worsen.
She is like a part of my life.
A part of my vital structure.
This vital structure in me is deteriorating as she started to depart.
My situation now is as if I am gradually losing muscle mass in my lungs.
Causing me to die slowly and painfully in an agonizing death.
Why are you "helping" me anyway?
Do you know that you are destroying me?
Are these all your intentions?
If so,
You should be damn happy and proud with it now right?
Because I'm dying now.
I really wonder what was the purpose of those dreams?
Is my mind trying to convince me that I still got chances or making me suffer?
If she doesn't want to return.
Then, there is nothing else I can do now but to succumb to my own mind.
Allowing it to destroy me slowly.
Now it's only dream.
What's next?
I told myself and convinced myself to forget..
But....
I failed once again.
Over and over again you can say.
I don't know whether it has turned into a disease or just a mere side effect from what had happened.
Recently,
I succeeded in forgetting about her for almost the whole day.
A good sign considered, right?
But,
When I sleep that night, I received random dreams, all about her.
Inside the dreams, she was very nice towards me and treated me like before.
Do things like before.
I was very happy and content.
I really thought she came back to me.
But, I later knew it was only dreams when I woke up.
Great!!!
It's as if my mind doesn't want me to let go.
Doesn't want me to forget.
That's why the dreams came.
Reinforcing the memories in my mind.
I am currently receiving constant dreams of how nice she is treating me everytime I sleep, even nap.
Indirectly making me even harder to forget.
Don't blame me because I can't control my own dreams.
As i said, they are random.
So, I tried my best.
Yet
I can feel that my situation has worsen.
She is like a part of my life.
A part of my vital structure.
This vital structure in me is deteriorating as she started to depart.
My situation now is as if I am gradually losing muscle mass in my lungs.
Causing me to die slowly and painfully in an agonizing death.
Why are you "helping" me anyway?
Do you know that you are destroying me?
Are these all your intentions?
If so,
You should be damn happy and proud with it now right?
Because I'm dying now.
I really wonder what was the purpose of those dreams?
Is my mind trying to convince me that I still got chances or making me suffer?
If she doesn't want to return.
Then, there is nothing else I can do now but to succumb to my own mind.
Allowing it to destroy me slowly.
Now it's only dream.
What's next?
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