Sunday, September 27, 2009

Death on Holidays!!!

Holidays have finally arrived.

It's been a while the death blog has been dormant.

This holidays could maybe my only chance to obliterate the hurtful memories you've implanted in my mind.

What you said was indeed damn fu*king true!!!

If you don't love me why would I still want to love you for? It doesn't make any difference if I chose either to love you or not love you.

If I only become a memory, just assume I never existed. Anyway, it's very clear that you've been doing that to me ever since that day.

Yeah!! Please don't ever show up in my life at the end of days because that would even be worse than hell on earth to me. When you graduated from university, please don't ever make a second mistake by coming back here again and I know you wouldn't anyway. This place brings you nightmare right? If so, please don't, because nobody will ever give a damn about it. Another suggestion, you can also forget about this place(Perak) and assume it has been wiped out from the face of the earth.

In your sight, I don't even think I am qualified to be a memory because you know why? You can pretend as if you never met me before plus whatever we did (pictures we taken together, facebook, msn and etc.), you have already deleted all of it by now I guess. In short you have deleted everything that links me to you.

I don't even know why I should care about you as you don't even care even if die or live because I don't deserve to be loved by people (That's the most cruel thing you told me that day and I can never forget that).

My love to you now has become a sort of hatred and I also don't know why? I know it is not good to hate people but I just can't help it because that was how I felt spontaneously, when somebody reminds me of you. Everytime I think of you I remembered how selfish you are and how bias you are in defining judgment. Additionally, you only think your doing the right thing whereas I the opposite. I absolutely can never believe I actually loved a person like this before. How can a person changed from "hero to zero" without a notice but a surprise with some lame excuses as backup. Well, I don't want to explain that again as I already did in the older entries.

If somebody did the same to you as you did to me, only then will you feel your own medicine.

Go ahead and live your chosen live then. I'm not going to get in your way because I don't care anymore. If you ever make a mistake in your life again, don't ever cry and regret if things do not come in the way you expected. So don't talk about so many if(s) because there's no such thing as so many if(s) in live because decisions are not trial and error. At 1st I don't accept the theory about "hero to zero" in life but what you did has already proven that to be possible to happen even in just a split moment. In short, the meaning of that term is, what comes around goes around, a friend today could be a foe tomorrow, a person you love today could be a person you hate tomorrow. It's ridiculous but possible thanks to your confirmation.

Quote of the day:

To live an easy live,

It's better to prepare yourself for the worse than preparing yourself for the better because you will never know what's coming for you.


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Eternal Nightmare


I just realized how important you are to me.

In conjunction to that, I also realized that the damages you done to me was so deep, until it reaches my soul.

It's already nearing to 3 months break.

Few days ago I was beginning to forget almost everything about the melancholic events of my past.

Today, out of nowhere nightmares came haunting me in my dreams.

Reviving the pain in my life once again.

This didn't happened once but several times already.

As I mention before, dreams are beyond my control while slumbering.

In my opinion, I don't think all these nightmares are just coincidence.

So, I began to think that you did not only damage my heart but my soul as well.

I'm beginning to lose will in forgetting already because it doesn't work that way.

There must be some way but what is it?

How to end this eternal nightmare of mine other than forgetting?