The Desperado of Love

She is losing herself due to her own insatiable thirst for love.

Physically weak I understand but I didn't expect was, your so weak in mind as well.

No wonder your so easily fooled by words.

No wonder your so easily to be manipulated.

No wonder you always say, as if your dying when someone is not by your side to love you.

Do you expect someone to be with you 24/7?

Do you expect someone to kiss you 24/7?

Do your expect someone to hug you 24/7?

Ask yourself how many relationships you've been through?

I hope you don't think it that way or else you're actually going on blinded-love spree all these years of relationships.

I'm your 5th and you clearly know who was your 3th right?

He left you because he needs space. Doing all those 24/7 things just suffocates him due to lack of freedom being given to him. He showed physical cruelness to you when he left you because he does not know how to put it in words.

Same thing you did to me just that it's in words. Cruel intentions yet present at that moment.

Why do you have such many ex-bf(s)? It's because you never wanted learn about your past mistakes and your decisions. You just do things by following your heart's desire without going through the brain. That's why you only think about yourself. As long as you're happy then can. Others happy or sad, you don't even bother at all. That's just pure selfishness.

Anyway, please don't cry and nag about it when he is not around you for the moment. Be mature for god's sake.

Everything we do in this world has good and bad. Why is that so?

It's because we are humans and we are not perfect.

That's why what we do will lead to imperfection. So, whatever we do will not lead to perfect good and bad. Both are to be present at the same time which signifies our imperfection.
In other words, whatever decisions we make, there will be consequences ahead. The consequences may not be always obvious in our sight. But, it is always present there.

"I'm not cursing anyone, it's philosophy I'm talking about. You can decide not to believe me if you don't want to, I'm not forcing anyone as usual."

People around you are just guessing and assuming what happened between us that day especially the things you said to me. Also, the way they're judging me like they know who I am. Why? It's because there are some things you didn't actually tell them, am I right? Or you can say whatever goddamn things behind me and there is nothing I can do about it. Surely you kept some truths hidden from their sights.

What I think is that, whether or not you hide some things from them, it doesn't really matter much. You know why? It's because they sided with you not due the righteous judgment. They sided with you plainly because of friendship. A righteous judgment is made based on neutrality.

For me, if anyone sides with me because of friendship, I rather not to have any friends because by doing so, they are just making bias judgment and clearly that's not what I wanted. In my opinion, that's not what I call true friends.

Only both of us knew the exact event happened between us that day. So only you will truly understand the messages I'm trying to convey to you here.

Well, go on with what you're doing now.

Rest assure that you will get what's coming to you in the future.

Your True Color.

Finally you revealed your true color.

What you said simply reminds me again something that you told me months ago.

Do you remember you said you will love me only me in your life?

When I told you if I would leave you, do you remember what you replied me?

Let me remind you again, you replied "Shall I compare thee to summer day, thou art lovely and temperate.. ya de ya de ya de ya.. I love you, lord of stupid.. I afraid tat you will leave me more than I will."

Sounded like Shakespears right?

When I asked you, are you sure about what you said and are you serious?

You almost started sobbing when I asked that.

It's impossible that it isn't serious right?

You also said " Don't ever mention those things again to me because it hurts my heart. I will only love you and only you in my life. I can't live without you not even a second. I will die if I lose you."

Well, very touching indeed yet so romantic.

Is that what you told everyone who've been together with you before also?

Yet until now you can still repeat the same bloody thing again.

It sounded so damn fake to me.

You can still say it so firmly and confidently that you're very serious with what you mentioned.

Haha!!

Another thing is, do you remember what happened on 1st of June 2009?

Forgotten already?

Let me remind you again the one "tiny" thing you told me.

When you're obviously lying in front of me that time saying your feelings for me had disappeared,

You also mentioned it's fruitless for us to continue our relationship because we won't end up happy.

If I'm not qualified to be a girlfriend/boyfriend/soul mate/life partner. Just please don't turn away.

Where and how the hell did you came out with that kinda lame theory?

Last time,

When I said can we make this over again? You said no because you don't love me anymore and we won't end up happy.

So you're like saying that,

If a girl/a boy really wants to leave, you still want to continue? (What I mean is "if", so don't misunderstand)

Hey!!! Don't you forget that you said it yourself that there will never be happiness if you do so.

So fast you forgotten what you told to me last time already?

You're actually following my footsteps/repeating what I did if you realize that.

In other words, what you're thinking or doing now is actually contradicting with your so called theory above. (in green, italic and bold)

In conclusion, you're no different than I am actually.

What you said, you can't even do it yourself.

Pakai cakap saja (a.k.a talk pussy only).

This is what you are, you're true color.

This is the way you think things. I see I see!!!

You know how to judge people but you don't know how to judge yourself.

Who's The Toy?

The contents of this post was taken from the previous post(Trust & Compromise). This is the re-edited version of it.

P/S : The original version was deleted from the previous post.

(Below were my frustrations after I posted the "Trust & Compromise" entry, so if you don't want to read it, you can stop right at this point)

I'm surprise that many realized about this two factors but why not you.

You don't understand is not because you're stupid or you're dumb, it's because you simply do not take the initiative to understand and reflect on it. That why you're so damn ignorant and naive which led to selfishness.

You think this is some sort of a game? When you want, you dash forward at maximum speed and grab it, when you're done or bored with it, you just throw it away? As long as it pleases your heart's content? Not forgetting you added plenty of crappy lame excuses when being asked why too.

I just realized that I'm actually a toy.

Why are you willing to throw it just like that?

Because I'm already broken or scarred with scratches?

I know why!!!

(The words italic and bold below, has hidden meanings. If you can guess the meaning then congrats.)

You got your "insurance" set and ready.

Also, you got a lot "financial supports" because of "sponsors" around you.

In other words, you don't lose anything.

So no wonder you don't even care whether I live or die.

I really want to know one more thing,

"I don't care, I can't care too much, whatever!!"

Is that your favorite phrase?

In the end,

I am as if a toy being thrown into the dumpster.

It depends on whether somebody else pick it up to play with it(live) or I end up being degraded and recycled for raw materials(die).

Actually, I do not want to talk about this again but the problem is, all these stuffs are just shoving right at my face. Don't expect I can act like nothing happen.
Nevertheless, the things happening around me just reminds me about you over and over again.

Trust & Compromise

From blogs I read and from experiences I gained from the things happening around me,

I've just realized that many people actually understand the two important factors in a relationship.

Trust and compromise.

Without trust this is how it turns out,

Trust--->Doubts--->Negative imaginations--->Confusions--->Betrayal/Disloyalty

Without compromising with the other will end up like this,

Compromise---> Misunderstanding---> Fights/Argument/War---> Anger---> Hate

These two factors are interrelated with each other.

If i combine this two and both these factors failed to take place, it will look like this when we apply on the problems occurred between the couple,

Problems--->Compromise(failed)--->Misunderstanding--->
Fights/Argument/War--->Anger--->Hate--->Trust(failed)---> Doubts
--->Negative imaginations--->Confusions--->Betrayal/Disloyalty

P/S : Well, once again please take note that the theory above might not be 100% accurate for everyone because it's still considered as a survey conclusion. I can explain in more detail about the points above if anyone does not understand, provided if you ask me. I didn't explain here because it may be lengthy if I do so. So I assume you all are smart enough to picture each point above in your mind.

In my opinion,

I think this is just simple logic that we should know whenever we are in a relationship. If not, then it means that they are not serious in it. Sometimes they just want to cuba-try or in some well-known cases such satisfying their own urge or desire for love(a.k.a. desperate for love), happened especially on people who cannot live a single life. They do not care who is their partner, as long as they receive love then it's sufficient. Most relationships like these end up being temporary, due to the absence of true love.

Lover's Survey

I just completed my survey about relationships.

"The info regarding the survey was taken from groups of individual who have been through difficult times in relationships."

What I found out was, couples who are both 1st lovers tend to last longer than those who have already been through breakup/breakups before.

Why is that so?

I can't answer it but,

A lot of my friends have been together with their partner for many years, approximately 3 years or more since they got together. Within these years, countless arguments and dissatisfaction upon each other occurred between them until breakup has becoming imminent.

The amazing thing is, they are still together as happy couples.

Why?

Because they sat down calmly and compromised with each other regarding the many problems occured among themselves. They cared for each others feelings and the importance of their relationship.

Another case is that, a couple that has already separated from each other for 3 years but haven't broke up.

But they did broke up recently.

Few days later after the breakup, they were together again because the girl intended to give him a 2nd chance. Why?

Because she cared about his feelings. He doesn't want to end it just like that. The guy promised to change for the better.

This is an example of trust. " From my opinion, without it, doubts and confusion will take place. This tends to make the person think too much. Trust is one of the many essential factors required in relationships. "

In contrast,

Most 1st lovers are loyal whereas most non-1st lovers are the absolute opposite of 1st lovers.

What I found out was, most of the non-1st loves tend to breakup more often than usual.

The person who proposed the breakup would likely get a new substitute pretty quick.

That's how they accumulated the ascending numbers of ex-lover.

Why is that so again?

In my opinion, they are just selfish because they only care about their own happiness and does not bother whether the other partner lives or dies.

They tend to give silly and ridiculous reasons to push him/her away.

Why?

Because they do not have a clear valid and reasonable answer to call off a breakup.

Most excuses are just assumptions and disbelieving of the other partner(victim).

Moreover, they do not know what's the meaning of forgiveness as well.

As long as they themselves are happy with his/her choice, that's it. END OF STORY..

From the beginning, I thought I was the only rare case but to my surprise, it isn't.

That's how I came out with this survey results.

In conclusion, most non-1st lovers tend to be extremely naive and only believe that what they do are 100% correct. That's why they do not even bother to look back into the past whether their choices are right or wrong. They are so sure that, all will be fine and everyone is happy.

"What I think is, these kind of people are just like king's sending out his troops to war and proudly ensuring flawless victory at war. How much blood has spilled and all the citizen's sufferings caused by the war, he does not feel it and neither will he care about it at all because he is happily enjoying his moments in his palace. As long as he gets what he wanted then ok already. But what his expectation back-fired? That's how kings always get overthrown by others because they are just too naive in believing no one can stop them."

In addition, these non-1st lovers does not care about the scars left behind due to their own naive decisions because they do not care how people suffer from the impact of the breakup. They just assume " Aiya!! Get over with it la. Dun worry too much la. It's normal keh. Find new one lo. Not worth thinking too much d la, anyway, I won't come back one". Act as if nothing happened? Cakap saja besar la( Talk until so damn lun c)!! If it's that simple and normal, let me try doing that to you and see la!! SWT!!

They are happy because they get what they want and does not receive any negative impacts from it. That's why they could say such thing with outstanding pride and audacity. They will never know pain until they eat back their own medicine.

P/S : I'm not saying all non-1st lovers are like that, just that mostly are like that only. Also, not all 1st lovers are loyal to the max, still they are some who act like typical non-1st lovers. This survey is based on majority/large percentage(not fully 100%) groups of people. "Without trust, no relationship can withstand for long." Relationships often breakup when either of the partners starts to think something bukan-bukan because of disbelieving and doubts on the victim especially their capabilities of adjustments.

ERROR MESSAGE!!

Wishes that I made, the faith that I kept till now.

They actually came true in my dreams.

But, not in reality again.

What I think is, they are trying to convince me not to wake up forever.

Sweatness.

Anyway, wishes coming true in my dreams is not what I wished for on the 1st place.

I wanted it to occur in the physical world.

Maybe there were some technical error with the universe.

haha.

No matter what, I will still continue to focus all my thoughts and my faith on God, the universe, and also what I have wished for.

Hope it would answer me ASAP.

P/S : To those who does not know what I am talking, you can assume I'm just rambling or crapping or whatever. XD

The Secret

The Law of Attraction...

Step 1: Ask

Step 2: Answer

Step 3: Receive

What you get is what you expect.

The end results is due to what we perceive, either good or bad.

Everything is controlled by our thoughts.

We ask for what we want not by words but by through our thoughts(Step 1) where it is answered by the universe itself(Step 2).

The universe hears the request and reveals our end results only if faith is kept(Step 3).

Most things in this world abide to this law of attraction.

But in my notion, it's not.

Not everything abides it.

Do you think that if I want something, I will get it in the end? No matter what it is?

As to most readers, you know clearly what I desire and what this blog is meant for. So I'm not going to say that again.

So, if I keep my faith will I get back what I have already lost?

Something which is so inevitable?

The law didn't state that how long you need to keep up with the faith to receive what you asked for.

So when will I get my answer from the universe?

When I'm 25, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 and so on?

DO I NEED TO WAIT THAT LONG?

If so, what's the point of all this then?

Because this is what I asked for since that day until now.

A year or more is what I asked for as well and not when I'm 25, 30, 40, 50, 70 and so on.

I will hold on to my faith in the future.

If things changes to what I asked for within a year or more, then maybe I will take back my own words that I've just said.

Else, I have to disagree with it.